The Accidental Masterpiece Script

(Bonnard sculpting in his art studio)

Bonnard: One more pose, Marthe.  Just keep hanging in there.

Marthe: (sighs)

Bonnard: What?

Marthe: You know, I don’t want to do this anymore.

Bonnard: What?  Are you having a bad day?

Marthe: It’s just… That… (Shrugs and turns away.)

Bonnard:  (Walks over and puts hand on Marthe.)  Marthe.  Spit it out.  What is bothering you?

Marthe:  The other day I saw you canoodling with another Woman.  Maybe it’s time we stopped Marriage, and got a divorce. (Starts walking away from studio.)

Bonnard: (starts running after her) Marthe!  Why would you think I would cheat on you?

Marthe:  (Turns around) YOU.  You said cheat!  I knew I should’ve been with you everywhere you went.  I guess I shouldn’t have let out of my sight.  I THOUGHT we had something special.  You’re a liar, and a pig!  I hate you!

Bonnard: Marthe. You have known me for so many years.  How long have we been married for? 10 years! 10 years is a decade, and a decade is a lifetime of many memories.  I had a really bad past with other women until I met you.  You were like an Angel when I first placed my eyes on you. You’re out of the ordinary.  You’re fantastic, beautiful, and my everything.

Marthe:  Tell that to the girl you were canoodling with. Enjoy your new life with Lindsay Lohan!  I’m sure you’ll have the fabulous life you’ve always wanted.  Everybody will drool, and wither in jealousy in your presence with your new wife.

Bonnard:  Lindsay and I are JUST friends!  I was walking down the street a few days ago, and then I see Lindsay half drunk, driving her new sports car, and driving from the cops driving down the street.  Apparently, Lindsay stole the ‘Mona Lisa’. (Laughs)  Typical Lindsay.  Anyways, as I’m walking minding my own business, I heard a “Help” in a meek voice!  I then found a hung over Lindsay Lohan lying in the corner. I didn’t want to leave a hung over person in an alley way corner, so I picked her up, and started carrying her.  I think the Alcohol really did it to her.  Lindsay then starts punching me, and I then fall down on the Alleyway floor with Lindsay lying down on me.  All of a sudden, the paparazzi just shows up out of nowhere from the roofs, and starts taking pictures of Lindsay and I.  That is why you found a picture of Lindsay and I quote on quote Canoodling.

Marthe:  Whatever, enjoy your life keeping up with Lindsay. We’re through! (Exits Studio)

Bonnard: (Face palms and sighs) Those stupid Lohans.  (Exits Studio)