The Accidental Masterpeice

In STAC we are reading a book called "The Accidental Masterpeice".  After I read the first chapter a few days ago, I realized I could relate to Bonnard, the main character, and the Artist of this book.

I am only sixteen years old, so I can't relate to various marriages, nor have I had a serious boyfriend yet.  One thing I can relate to personally is Bonnard. He struggles with his Wife Marthe.

Marthe has many psychological disorders. I can relate because I sometimes feel anxious.  Anxiety shows itself differently in different situations.  It can be a real pain. Anxious people can be nervous and can feel overwhelmed in many otherwise normal situations.  They may have a hard time with interpersonal relationships because of nervousness.  In social situations, I can sometimes be awkward around the people I don't know that well.  I am very quiet too.  When I am with my really good friends or family, it is actually like a switch came on and I relax and let my hair down.  The shy quiet flower within me will come out, and an array of butterflies sparkle in patterns of circles.

When I am in school, it feels like I am ridiculed by others for many things I do. This makes it hard to move forward creatively.  With self expression in school, within moral boundaries, there is no right answer when being creative, as long as you are trying to solve a problem or respond to a challenge.  Some people agree with this philosophy but some don't.  Other teenagers also have the same difficulty overcoming inhibitions placed on them and by others.  I am an Artist. I see the world differently than anyone else.  You, the reader of this blog, see the world from your unique perspective too.  Everyone sees things differently.  It can take courage to express yourself differently from arbitrary social norms.  The truth is, some people aren't mature to handle that, and because they are afraid of what is in front of them, they cower, and do something really stupid or tease people who are courageous enough to try new things.

Being ridiculed is a good example of a running Bull.  The running Bull,  is running no where and pushing everything in their path because they are scared or not focused on what is in front of them.  My father always tells me that if you run with the herd you will only go as far as the herd will take you.  I don't want to stop or wait for the herd to run in my direction.  I know that this creates anxious situations but I am what I am.

Bonnard's wife, Marthe, lives with many psychological disorders.  It pains me to see that another person has to deal with a mental problem.  Marthe made her marriage to Bonnard hard to live with. Even though he tolerated her problems, it also showed that he really loved her.

Although mental problems are really difficult to live with, there's always a silver lining in a black cloud.  Often you are forced to see the world differently.